Communication in marriage.

The man, and the daily family planing pills.

True life story! Why love must go with openess and indepth communication.

This is how I got to know about  Mr. Smart , who is cheating on his wife openly in the presence of this elderly maternal relative of his, this his relative is also related to me, I call her mommy.

So, on this faithful day, I just branched to see mommy, and I met this man of about Forty-Forty-five years talking to mommy.
I greeted them both and sat afar but could hear them talking, though I could not understand exactly what they where saying.

Then, mommy said, be careful oo, with that lady, my hand no dey! Mr. Smart said in reply,  don't worry sister, I know what I am doing.

I said in my mind,  so this uncle never marry, he don dey old dey go, and  still the do boyfriend girlfriend!😊
I was about interrupting them to tell mommy that I just branched to say hi, that I am leaving when Mr. Smart got up, smiled at me and said, my daughter,  I am going already!
I was Twenty-Two years then, so I said bye Sir, and he left.

I went to mommy and said, this uncle is still single hia. (Amebo😂).
To my surprise, mommy said no, he is married with children.
I became cold, because I respected mommy so much that I never believe she would know about a cheating relative , and still act cool with him.

Why is he cheating on his wife and you're aware of it?
She was surprised at the direct question and she opened up immediately without  delay.

Mommy said, the very day she saw him with another woman, she asked him to see her immediately, and he did.
She  said she confronted him and he said to her, "my wife cheated first"!
Because,  she wasn't expecting that reply from him, and also loved and respected his wife, she Sat down and asked Mr. Smart to tell her how.

The main point of this story.

Mr. Smart told mommy, that he travelled for a week, came back and noticed that his wife has been using her daily family planing pills, and immediately,  he knew she was cheating on him.
He said he was bitter and hurt but, did not say anything to his wife, but decided he too will be cheating! Then later he too started cheating.

So, mommy too, was shocked and she said she didn't say anything again because Mr. Smart was so angry after explaining to her.
Mommy said she just told him to be careful.

Fast Forward to after I gave birth to my first child.
My first clinic appointment was like a shot lecture concerning Family planing and options available for me to pick. I went with everyday pills.

The nurse asked, are you sure? Hope you can keep up with the timing!
I answered yes, and another lecture began.

Take it everyday,  the same time, if you forget for a day do this..., if you forget to take your family planing pills for two days do this..., you must take it even if your husband is not around,  if you're travelling,  you must carry it along,  even if you did not do the act for days, you must keep taking it, and at that moment,  my mind went straight to Mr. Smart and how he has messed up because of lack of communication and assumption.

He could have asked his wife for explanation! Then confirm if he wasn't satisfied with her expectations. Instead,  Mr. "Know all" concluded that his wife was cheating and he too started cheating.

After some years of taking this family planing pills,  I went to see mommy to tell her about the pills, and she was surprised. I told her that, one must take this pills everyday except otherwise instructed by a physician or, you want to get pregnant again.
I told her about other options too available for family planing as one gets older.😊

Mommy was happy that the woman didn't cheat,  but started feeling bad that all these while Mr.Smart was cheating openly because he thought his wife cheated.

Well, as for me, I didn't ask further questions about Mr. Smart and his wife again, but I sure know that confronting someone on issues you have concluded, but know nothing about is not a bad idea.

Communicate, never assume even if it seem you have the facts.
A lot of things are not what you think they are.
Things change, and only change is constant!

Imagine the kind of life this man is living, and his wife has no idea what her husband has in his heart and she is leaving freely with him! Men.

A cheat, is a cheat even without an excuse! 🙄

By Vivian Adesina.

#vivianoa